PLAYER TWEETS EXPAND
If you work at a pharmacy, you MUST know that you are currently taking too long.
Pandora asks me to make a station based on song title... then NEVER plays that song.
Am I a petty Lakers/Kobe fan if I don't want to see Lebron In an LA uniform? Probably, but that's my choice.
Huge fire in my neighborhood right now. Only a construction house right now. But just saw the structure collapse.
My father passed away last year. To me, he was the very definition of "a happy soul". I love him very much. Happy… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…
So, this cow has to live its life being called "Meeny"? twitter.com/caseyneistat/s…
I took a class once on sleep cycles... so technically I am in the top 1% of the world of knowledge on sleep... so listen to me!
America MUST institute a nation wide "Nap time"; all ages included. The productivity would soar!
Daughter is moving chairs all over the house, to climb up and get what she wants off the counters. Control has been lost. Complete anarchy.
How is #France not just killing teams. That midfield, wows.
What the hell is going on with these soccer players and their taxes?? Can we not get these guys a good Cpa?
Which NBA fans are going end up pissed off next year and have Kevin Love on their roster? #NBAFinals
Guys it's commercial. So check this out! twitter.com/ladbible/statu…
Is this one of the funniest tweets ever? Possibly twitter.com/bentono10/stat…
#LittleKnownFactFriday... I have an obsession with crossword puzzles.
Here's what's suspicious: I'm supposed to believe Ana is getting married to this guy she has known for 3 hours and one sing along?? #Frozen
Instead of celeb's saying they were"hacked", I think a great way to backtrack a tweet would be to say u were conducting a social experiment.
North Carolina... are we serious? twitter.com/darrenrovell/s…
This horrible event in Manchester, England is the very definition of tragic. Now putting faces to the little kids involved... soul crushing.
Side note: I have alwaaays struggled with the spelling of "restaurant". Not something I'm very proud of.
If u own a Greek restaurant and you don't have a basket of mints by the exit door. That is an automatic 1 star deduction.
I know I'm on a lonely island with this hot take, but #13ReasonsWhy is dragging on. This could have been done in 7 episodes.
I feel like the word HAM applies here. Do we still use that?
When the airline tells you that ur bag has to go under the plane... how many people do you want to begin yelling at?
Do you ever wake up and your need for coffee is so aggressive, that you experience withdrawal symptoms?
Guy 1:about to sit "anyone sitting there?" Guy 2:"oh sorry, my wife's there" Guy 1: giggling "man, she's awful thin" Guy 2: "boy do I wish!"
So in the 70s say; how did we go about planning a flight? Did you buy it the day of? Were prices all the same?How did you know flight times?
Do you remember when real long sideburns were a thing. #LongLiveTheEarly2000s
Honestly the most pain I've felt in my career, is anytime I have a pimple in my mustache area. #Excruciating
As a society we MUST do better... we cannot keep giving every Uber driver 5 stars. Literally all range from 4.83-4.96. #NoMore!!
Stickers have become a true foe of mine. I can't stand seeing them in my house anymore. I just threw a full sticker… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…